Helping Hurting People

A word of encouragement does wonders

Proverbs 12:25

Ask yourself, "Do I hurt people, and am I easily hurt by them?"

(1) Hurting people hurt other people. the German poet Hermann Hesse wrote: "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." Hurting people lash out in response to what's happening inside them. they feel or believe something negative within themselves. Try to remember that.

(2) Hurting people are more often hurt by people. Let's say you've got a splinter in your finger and it becomes infected. Then someone brushes against it. you howl with pain, "You hurt me!" No, the real problem is the splinter you neglected to address. Hurting people overreact, overexaggerate, and over protect. They also overinfluence. Ask any counsellor who's dealt with a hurting couple. Emotionally one spouse "throws up," then the other "cleans up." Usually the individual with the most pain does the most damage.

(3) Quick fixes don't work. the kindest thing you can do for hurting people is ask them, "Are you prepared to work through the issues and get beyond your pain?" When a New England pipe cleaning company was working under streets to clean out a sewer line, they found: 61 diamond rings, vintage coins and silverware. It was an unpleasant job - but they were allowed to keep the valuables they found in the process. Now you may have to do some digging and deal with some pretty nasty stuff, but in the process you may discover some treasures you didn't know existed, and at the end of all your hard work, learn to develop healthy relationships.

Used with permission from UCB Word for Today. Free issues are available here for the UK and Republic of Ireland.